Tha MonkeyClan of the Angry Monkey (FFXI)
Jobs I hate
Submitted by ravenclaw on Mon, 08/14/2006 - 15:36.

I've been playing FFXI for over 2 years now. I started playing long ago when Sam/Maior first asked everyone while we were playing UT2k4 in voice chat, "Hey, anyone ever played Final Fantasy XI?"

In the 2 years I've been playing, I have found certain jobs who's players consistently piss me off. I really don't know what it is, whether it's that the jobs attract these idiots, or the idiots themselves just happen to be in these jobs when I meet them. All I know, is that I can easily find people in these jobs that I hate.

So, after 2 years of suffering, here is my list of jobs I fucking hate:

  • Beastmaster
    GAH! What the fuck?! Every last BST I've ever met has been some idiot who couldn't hack it in normal parties. Maybe they couldn't do skillchains ("I like it when they just happen lol!") or they couldn't do hate control ("OMFG I CAN DO 1K DMG WITH TORNADO MCXVII! HEY WHY AM I DYING?!"), but somehow all the dumb fucks who just can't "get" the party scene wind up playing BST. Sam keeps telling me that I'm stereotyping and that there are some BSTs out there that are the most knowledgable players on our server, but I haven't met any.

  • Black Mage
    What is it with these guys? Give a job the ability to score triple digit damage all the time and they suddenly think they are the best thing since sliced bread. They become pompous know-it-alls that always feel like sharing their myopic vision of the world with everyone else. They over spam their spells and blame tanks when they can't hold hate. They pontificate and expound on shit they don't know anything about (I've seen BLMs argue over the WAR job, even when theirs was less than 20. I later on see the same BLM argue over BRD and CoP 2-3 even though he didn't have BRD unlocked and hadn't even finished the Promies!)

    And the worst thing they do is fucking spam in chat! This last trait is so bad that Sam/Maior once suggested it must be a BLM Job Ability:

    In this day of TP burns, I'm glad BLMs are having a hard time. Those fuckers need to learn some humility.

  • Bards
    Okay, here's the deal. I'm a Corsair right now. I took RNG to 75 then was bored with other jobs until COR came out. But I am loving COR. And I know that COR is a support-job more than a damage-dealer, so we're closer to BRD than to RNG. And I am also understanding now a lot more just how hard it is when people DON'T get your job, and DON'T listen to your advice.

    But you know what? Fuck BRDs anyway. Every BRD I've ever personally partied with has been some self-righteous prick who felt they were the center of the universe. Sure BRDs are always wanted, and there are so few BRDs they are in high demand, that doesn't mean they should all be dicks about it!

    I've had so many {Princess} bards that have warned my parties that if we don't "shape up" and do what they want, they will leave ("Why waste my time here when I can go get a Manaburn or Bones party?")

  • Paladin
    I used to think PLDs were whiners back in my RNG days simply because they would always bitch about their NIN inferiority complexes (which usually means they haven't leveled NIN, because NIN tanking is *much* harder than PLD tanking). But now, in addition to thinking they are whiners, I think they are idiots.

    BRDs tell me they have a hard time with PLDs too..... and for the same damm reason I do. PLDs never stand where you want them to! You have precious few spells you can cast on these idiots, and they want to be part of the Refreshga. But when they miss it because they are on the other side of the melees, or when a melee gets refreshga instead of some melee stat boost, they always blame me. Like I can someohow selectively AoE some people and not others.

    Fuck PLDs.

  • Corsair
    I am a COR right now, and I love it. But you know what? Fuck COR!

    All those speedy jackass CORs that took COR to 75 in the first two weeks of ToAUs release have doomed the rest of us! They got everyone used to having a fucking Corsair Roll on 24/7. They got everyone confused over what COR can really do. And then they lorded over all us later CORs like they somehow knew more about the job than we do.

  • Thief
    The first job I played was THF/WAR. I took it to 30 where I unlocked RNG and never looked back. I just didn't like THF like I thought I would. RNG/NIN wound up being more what I was looking for. The fact is, THF is hard. And because of it, lots of THFs grow up with chips on their shoulders. I never used to mind that, I felt their pain. At least, I didn't mind it until the last dagger patch.... now... FUCK THFS!

    THF is the new "hip" job past 60 thanks to all those fucking new dagger damages. The problem is, every THF I've partied with since the patch has totally let it go to their heads. I've seen them fall into the same trappings the other melee jobs have had over "who has the biggest epeen". They now approach DRKs and say "I bet I can out damage you", the DRK (since all DRKs are 14-year old boys with inferiority complexes) always says "You're on!" and soon everyone is dead on the ground after the fucking THF and DRK fucked up the hate control and killed everyone!

    And you know what? While lying there dead... they are still fucking arguing over who just did the most damage!

    GAH! FUCK THFs!

I could go on, but I wont. I got it out of my system. Bottom line... I fucking hate these jobs.

ROFFL

BST -> talk to some of the more hardcore bsters like gbear, there not all that bad nor all that stupid. Like with anything there are that class of ppl that can't function in a pt so they do the only thing they can SOLO ONRY.

BLM -> OMFG I HATE THOSE RETARDS TOO! everyone knows i'm a hardcore BLM and shit but these guys are fucking lame and don't get it, AM isn't there for something to cast when your bored GET A FUCKING CLUE. Yes i do have a chip on my should but its a well earned chip IMHO, i'm willing to die with the best of them, and have. But it isn't cute when a blm declares to the world that he can pull hate, fuck you buddy. Thats shit is TOOO WEAK. BLM is a Finess job not a sir spamalot job, if you want that title go play a fucking pld or blu.

JOBS I HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLU -> not only do these fuckers hit to hard with melee, you hardly ever resist there spells speaking from a purely PVP perspective. What good is any job when they can spam stun and render you a drooling pile of shit.

BRD -> someone need to bust these little mfers chops, and break them down hardcore, by far the most arrogant players in FFXI are BRD, try waiting 5-12+hrs for a pt invite you little faggs. I don't know how many f'n little fairy brds don't understand the differance in range between stringed and wind insturments. Search Engine {Do you need any help?} or the classic things i love are seeing brds running around post 20 in vagabonds tunics, seriously wtf? Go save up some gil and get yourself some real gear {please}! Really the other thing that amused me (and by that i mean pissed me off to no end) was the brd who cloudn't sleep anything, and all his debuffs were resisted... WTF do we need you than? a rdm can refresh too, plus cure and dispel... seriously wtf.

anyjob/NIN -> get some skill. Jesuzs any poorly formed argument you have concocted i've already heard and disproved... Examples. /nin lets me duel wield, big fucking woopty do, most jobs don't gain much from duel wield, the exceptions are NIN (duh), RNG and THF... all others can fucking blow me. I don't know how many times i have to make this fucking argument weapon1 + weapon2 = total delay, not delay of just weapon1 or weapon2, this is why NIN gains access to Duel Wield enhancing, fuctions exactly the same as Martial Arts used by mnks. so a NIN is the only one that gains the full benifit just like a monk is the only one who gains full benifit from H2H, no one will argue with me on that so why does everyone argue about Duel wield? Do you really not understand, is it really too much for your small brain to comprehend? Duel Wield part 2, Duel wield doesn't gain you more tp than a 2handed weapon, the amount of tp gained is based off of each weapons own delay, not some magical combined tp mystery number. The HIGHER the weapons individual delay, the more tp gained, this is why sam seemingly gains more tp than any other job, cuz SUPPRISE GK is 2handed OHH NOES! Store tp isn't accessed till later so don't argue that, it isn't an auto trait. Not to mention the fact that spell buffs like ice spikes activate per hit, so you are expossing you to twice as much dmg and twice as much paralyze latent, mnks call ice spikes a bane so why don't morons grasp this same concept? Also, mob tp gained is flat also based per hit, its something like 5% per hit, so if your swinging twice as much guess what that = twice as much tp, AND no duel wield doesn't always boost over all dmg, a 2handed can keep up with a 2handed, like for instance with a a war duel wield axe an a- skill and using rampage, vs a war subbing mnk boosting and using a GA you'll see that the dmg will remain right on par. UTSUMIE that queef of a spell all the little fags love to use, it doesn't protect you better in an exp pt because wow your probly not the tank, also i don't know how many times i have to refer everyone to the june 2005 patch which clearly stats that each attack absorbed reduces emnity. SO piss off with your bullshit that it helps me keep hate, your wrong!

NIN -> no your farts don't smell like roses, your job is a funstional tank, but ppl forget that nin is a situational tank just like pld. i never have said one is better than the other, they both have there purpose.

THFs -> i understand that landing sata is hard, and if ppl don't listen it makes it difficult to do your job right, you know what? You chose the job, if you can't handel the work load maybe you should consider a new line of work, It is no more difficult than a BRD trying to land Ballad on mages and melee songs on the melee when everyone fucking keeps bunching together like some starving ethiopians huddeled around a corpse. Or a blm selecting the proper spell to bust, and weather or not the might duel burst, or a pld who can't cover when the fucking target he's covering chooses to move. So just fucking DEAL!

SMN -> Ohh look at me i'm a smn, i want exp pts but i don't want to be main heal, considering my role is party support and i usually sub whm any ways. I hate smn's so much because they expect preferential treatment, so a blm gets stuck with backup heals, fucking smn will complain till everyone in the party dies of a brain hemerage, news flash for ya, you get 2 great smn abilities which help you cure pt member, Healing ruby II and healing spring, lets use them please, or the fact that your mnd bonus is natural higher than a blms so therefore your healing is more effective. Or this is the kicker, a smner who doesn't use the party buffs like phallanxaga, stoneskinaga, blinkaga, and hasteage, not to mention ice spikesaga, ya a nin doesn't want blink, so he can turn it off or you could avoid it all together, but wtf most only whip out there smns to do elemental dmg, get a fucking clue, a party with these dmg reducing buffs doens' need you to heal as much, so you can pick your nose like you usually do ne ways, i mean a vast of smn's ive partied with are lazy. Get a clue.

Service to all players.

"Duel Wield part 2, Duel wield doesn't gain you more tp than a 2handed weapon, the amount of tp gained is based off of each weapons own delay, not some magical combined tp mystery number. The HIGHER the weapons individual delay, the more tp gained, this is why sam seemingly gains more tp than any other job, cuz SUPPRISE GK is 2handed OHH NOES! Store tp isn't accessed till later so don't argue that, it isn't an auto trait. Not to mention the fact that spell buffs like ice spikes activate per hit, so you are expossing you to twice as much dmg and twice as much paralyze latent, mnks call ice spikes a bane so why don't morons grasp this same concept? Also, mob tp gained is flat also based per hit, its something like 5% per hit, so if your swinging twice as much guess what that = twice as much tp"

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Now if you could just have a class that had every single player that has NIN at lvl 1 or above so they could learn these things like normal people do. ( Unless they can prove they actually know the reasons NOT to use Dual Wield )

Another point you forgot about NIN/ and /NIN players is the haste issue. How many of you realize that the spell "Slow" is NOT the same thing as a "TP Slow" attack? Yes if you cast Haste after getting Slow cast on you, you are not slowed anymore. But, NEWS FLASH if you get hit by a TP Slow attack, like the spiders Web attack in the Quick Sand Caves, Haste WILL NOT remove your Slow. Erase is needed to remove a TP Slow attack, and then Haste again to keep you Hasted.

This means that the mage has to do the following to keep you hasted:

1. Cast Haste on the NINtard
2. When NINtard gets hit with TP SLow attack, mage casts Erase, WHM specific what?
3. Cast Haste again, if recast timer is back to 0:00
* Recast timer for Erase and Haste are fairly slow, in terms of other WHM spells

This means the mage is using over 2 X the mp just to keep your NINtard arse Hasted, anyone else see a problem here?

So please, please if your are a NIN of any type, main or sub job, think about what type of slow you just got hit with. Because some WHM's, like me, will NOT cast Haste on you if you are fighting mobs that have Slow TP attacks. I am so tired of stupid players that yell at me, the only WHM in the party; with BLM subbed so I have Warp, or a tele scroll, for not keeping them hasted. I have come up with some new rules to when I party. You get 3 chances at being a retard. Onece you hit the 4th time I am gone after the mob's dead, and to quote Milo, "/blacklist add you can have this."

Yepp

Dumb Ninjars i know a few...

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